Why Japanese?

For many months now, I have been deeply immersed in the study of Japanese.  Indeed, I probably spend at minimum of 3 to 4 hours a day actively studying and at least another 3 or 4 hours with Japanese media in the background while I do other tasks.

I have to admit to feeling a little awkward when people ask me what I have been doing lately.  I explain that I have been deeply engaged in the study of Japanese.  I often get asked the questions, “Why Japanese?” and “What are you going to DO with it?”

Those questions are a bit tricky to answer as at the moment, I am not really sure of THE reason for Japanese, if in fact, THE reason exists.  I seem to have been led in this direction, and I have learned from long experience that the Fairies often give us information on a “need to know” basis.  Still, they are trustworthy, and it is generally best to follow where they lead.

That being said, there seem to be lots of reasons, and more and more reasons become manifest every day.  It occurred to me that some of the reasons are deeply intertwined with the journey that this blog has been documenting.

Language is far more fundamental to our being than many of us realize.  Not only is language a means of communication, but it shapes they way we think and look at the world.  Many English speakers, especially English speakers in the U.S., never learn another language.  Most people take one or two years of another language in high school and/or college, but that is not the same thing as actually learning a language.  I took two years of French in high school, but I really do not remember anything from it.  In order to truly learn a language, one must really embrace it, and I think that embracing a new language really changes a person on a fundamental soul level.

I have noticed many changes in myself over the past several months.  It is hard to really describe the changes, but I think that overall, Japanese has softened me.  I have noticed that I feel gentler and more quiet inside.  While I my Japanese is not yet at the level that I can think in Japanese, or at least not for very long, it has stilled my inner monologue considerably.  Even in English, I have noticed that my voice has become softer, and I feel less pressured in social situations.  I have also felt safer when out and about, as if Japanese has formed a protective shield around me.

vlcsnap-2014-09-06-01h18m25s84On this blog, I have written many articles about the Image Sphere.  As part of my studies, I have been consuming a great deal of media in Japanese.  As the reader may know, I had already been watching Anime with English subtitles, but watching them in Japanese (even at my level of Japanese) is a much different experience.  Even in English, the shows were gentler and cleaner than anything I have seen in Western media, particularly recent Western media.  Yet, watching them in Japanese makes even the English translations seem course.  (Cure Dolly wrote an article about the difficulty of translation between Japanese and English that can be found here).

Are any of these things THE reason for studying Japanese?  I do not know.  Yet, I do think that they are very good reasons.  What I am going to DO with Japanese?  I do not know that either.  What am I doing with Japanese now?  I am learning and letting my soul be reshaped by this language.

HabitRPG: My New Favorite Task Management Application

Oh dear, it has been a while since I have written.  I have been deeply immersed in my Japanese studies lately, which has not left a lot of time for keeping up with my blog articles.  Time management has always been a bit of a difficulty for me, as I have discussed in previous articles, such as Where Did the Time Go and Developing a Routine.

I have found that I really do need the assistance of a computer program or app to help me keep track of my tasks, even rather basic ones.  I am terribly forgetful, I am afraid, and I would be a complete disorganized mess without some sort of computerized task list.  Even with a computerized task list, I can be a disorganized mess, but I think I would be worse without one!

I have been on the search for the perfect task management program or application since my very first Handspring Visor became obsolete.  (Handspring was a competitor of Palm, which is also quite obsolete now).  When I had my business, I did use Microsoft Outlook, which worked well for a time.  Once I got a smartphone, it became more difficult and complicated to keep the smartphone synched properly with Microsoft Outlook.  I was able to manage the calendar through Google, but the tasklist was a bit of a mess.  That does seem to be the way of things, doesn’t it?  I still have not found a word processing program that works nearly as well as WordPerfect 5.1 did.

I have been using Toodledo recently, which is a very nice application, and syncs well with all of my devices.  A few weeks ago, a dear friend casually mentioned HabitRPG, and it seemed intriguing, so I investigated.  The premise of the application is to treat a person’s daily routine as a role playing game, complete with a class system, experience points, gold, and equipment to buy.  It is quite fun, and I have found it quite motivating!

Aside from being motivating and fun, HabitRPG has been working well for me as a task management application in its own right.  I find the visual layout clean and attractive, and it works really well for daily tasks.  One of the difficulties with daily tasks on a regular task management program, is that if there are days one can not get to ones tasks, they start to become overdue, and really creates a bit of a visual mess, which makes it difficult for me to get back on track.  HabitRPG unchecks one’s daily tasks at the end of the day, with consequences in terms of Heath Point loss for the ones that are not complete.  If one is unable to do her daily tasks because of illness, vacation, or any other reason, she can check herself into the Inn, which freezes all the daily tasks as is, with no consequences.  The nice thing about that (at least for me), is that when one checks out of the Inn, all of her tasks are there, still visually clean and neat…without messy overdue dates!

There is are social options, such as a party and guild system, which is another really nice feature.  Sadly, it is quite limited with respect to managing monthly and weekly tasks, so I still need to continue to use Toodledo for those.  I do have coordinating HabitRPG with Toodledo as a daily on HabitRPG though…which ends up being an nice rather easy daily to obtain experience and gold!

Stitch by Stitch

I learned (or relearned) how to crochet about 6 years ago and then learned how to knit about 5 years ago.  Looking back, I think that this may have been an unconscious step on the journey that I am now consciously undertaking.  For myself, there is something deeply feminine and purifying about making something beautiful with my own hands.  Knitting and crocheting have also taught me some valuable lessons.

One of the more important lessons that I have learned from yarncrafting is patience.  Everything that can be created in this fashion must be created one stitch at a time.  There is really no other way to do it.  Even something easy like a basic dishcloth takes several hours.  Making something larger can take weeks, months, or even longer.  There is no real way to rush it along.  My fingers will only move so fast.  The project will take as long as it takes.  Eventually, though, if I keep working on it, the project will get finished…one stitch at a time.

On the other hand, even though I can not rush the project along, it will only get completed if I keep working on it.  To my chagrin, I have many abandoned projects and yarn that I have purchased for projects I have never started, which are cluttering up my back porch.  One question I have often been asked by people is how long a project takes.  That is a really hard question to answer.  Only the very easiest projects can be completed in one sitting.  Most projects involve working on it in snatches of time over a much longer period.  While some of it depends on the difficulty and size of the project, but some of it also depends on how many snatches of time one devotes to it.

The nice thing is, though, that even though projects can not be complete unless one is actively working on them, one can start again at any time.  I just started a sweater.  I purchased the yarn for the project a few years ago, and I had chosen the pattern.  I just never started it.  Yet, when I decided to start it, the yarn and the pattern were all ready for me.  So, I have finally begun the project, to be completed stitch by stitch!

SAMSUNG

There are so many things in life like that.  I am finding that to be the case in reclaiming my hestia.  There are so many projects that need to get done, and it can be really overwhelming!  If I think about all the things I have to do, I will go hide in my room and not do a thing.  Yet, if I slow down and work on my projects, stitch by stitch, they will eventually get completed.

There are several task management programs out there.  When I had my business, I used to use Microsoft Outlook.  Now, I am using a program called Toodledo, which is a free, cloud based program.  The nice thing about it is that I can set up tasks to repeat themselves daily, weekly, monthly, or whatever interval is right.  When I have large projects to do, I have started to make those projects daily repeating tasks.  Each day, I try to work on a least a little bit, even if it is just 5 or 10 minutes.

It may seem like only working 5 or 10 minutes a day on something would not accomplish much, especially when one has a big project.  Often though, I find that once I get started, I spend more time than that each day, and even if I do not…the project still gets done faster that way than if I am not working on it at all!  Last fall, I managed to finish the project of cleaning the closet in this manner.  This spring, I am tackling the project of cleaning the back porch!

Oh yes, and it by starting the project of cleaning the back porch, that I found the yarn for the sweater I had planned several years ago!  I wonder which will get finished first, the back porch or the sweater?

Feminine Speech Patterns and Japanese

A long time ago when I was first starting a career path, I would at times attend various workshops related to career development.  One of these workshops that I remember was for women teaching them to rid their speech of “feminine speech patterns.”  These speech patterns consisted of phrases such as “I think” and “I believe” and phrases such as “isn’t it,” which seek agreement from the listener.  Other patterns were frequent apologies and self-effacing language.  All of these speech patterns were to be avoided as they tended to keep women “in their place” and prevented them from “getting ahead” in the business world.

Business Woman

Later when I embarked on a second career, I was taught that using words such as “I think” or “I believe” was improper “hedging.”  I can still hear voices of instructors saying, “No one cares what you think!”  According to the conventional wisdom of my career, it was important to sound confident, even (and maybe especially) when one was not!  Otherwise, one would not be taken seriously.  In writing, one was to avoid passive voice, except in very particular circumstances.  I also learned in other places, such as church settings, that it was important to be direct with one’s speech.  Indirect speech was said to be manipulative.

As I have discussed on this blog and on others, I am currently studying Japanese.  I have found it interesting that in Japanese, all of these “feminine” speech patterns that were drilled out of me in the West are all matters of ordinary politeness in Japanese.

In Japanese, it is frequent to end thoughts or sentences with qualifiers such as, to omoimasu (“I think”) or ne, (a sentence ending particle that seeks, or even assumes, agreement by the listener).  Not only does one frequently apologize in Japanese, but there are many different levels of apology.  The informal apologies, gomen or gomen nasai, are used all of the time, and it is polite to end a communication with a superior (or even with an equal in polite circumstances) with shitsurei shimasu, an apology meaning “I am committing an act of rudeness.”

Japanese-ClothingStyle-For-Women1In Japanese, self-effacing speech is considered the norm and to do otherwise is considered arrogant and rude.  One never uses an honorific to refer to oneself, one’s own household (to another outside her household), or one’s company or in-group, but always uses an honorific to refer to others, unless one on very intimate or friendly terms with the other.  There are different words in Japanese for “to give” based on the social position of the giver and the receiver.  Kureru is to “give down” to one socially below and ageru is to “give up” to one socially above.  When speaks of giving something to another, one uses ageru and when one is asking to be given something by another one uses kureru.  One only uses the word jouzu, meaning “skillful” or “good at” to refer to someone else.  To use jouzu for oneself sounds prideful and arrogant.

Passive voice is common in Japanese and is particularly used when one is being polite.  As a general rule, speech that is passive and indirect is considered more polite than active and direct speech.  For example, if one must refuse a request, it is common to do so with a simple chotto (“a little”) without completing the sentence.  This means the request is a little….(inconvenient, difficult, impossible, etc.).

It is interesting that the speech patterns that are considered “feminine” in English are part of everyday Japanese, and to omit them would be seen as rude or arrogant.  While Japanese does have speech patterns that are seen as more masculine or more feminine, I believe that the patterns I have mentioned are just a part of ordinary common courtesy in Japanese.

A Light in the Darkness

Tomorrow, it will be the Deanic/Filianic celebration of Nativity.  This is the celebration of the birth of the Daughter.  In the Filianist Mythos, we hear how before the dawn of time our souls danced and laughed with the Mother who created us.  We were tempted by the Snake to ask the Mother for Darkness and to embrace it so that we could rest.

After we turned from Her, a chasm opened between the Mother and our souls, a gap She bridged by giving birth to the Daughter, who could  be our Light in the Darkness. On Nativity we celebrate the birth of the Daughter.

Do Filianists believe this to be a factual, literal recording of history for which we can dig up physical artifacts?  No, of course not.  Filianists believe that historical fact is the lowest form of knowledge, as the material world is much lower than the spiritual realms.  This Mythos is at a much Higher Level of knowledge than that.  We believe that this Mythos is a description of Truth that is beyond space and time and is one way of understanding Truth.  Are there other stories and Myths that describe Truth?  Of course, there are.  While we believe that there is only One Truth, we also believe that the Truth may be described and taught in many ways.

Nativity TreeNativity is celebrated near the Winter Solstice, the darkest time of the year, when Light starts to reassert itself, as the Daughter was born to re-Light our Path back to the Mother.  This is also the time of the year when Christians celebrate Christmas.  Many Filianist traditions surrounding Nativity are similar to Christmas traditions, such as the date, the Nativity tree, and the symbolism of candles and light.  These Christmas traditions were taken from older traditions surrounding Midwinter.

In the West, there is a tendency towards controversy on many matters, and the controversies around Christmas can be particularly intense.  These controversies often center around religious symbolism as opposed to secular symbolism.  There are also controversies about traditional symbolism being of a “pagan” nature.  I have nothing to say about these controversies, except to say that they do not arise in Deanism/Filianism.  We do not have the same separation between the “religious” and the “secular,” nor do we have any notion that our way of seeing the Truth is the only way or that our forms of worship and celebration are the only right ways to celebrate.

When I listen to Christmas music and see Christian religious symbolism, I can see this as another form of the Truth, with a clear conscience.  I can see this as a re-enactment of the Nativity in time and space without any contradiction to the Mythos of the Daughter.  If I see a Christian Nativity scene when outside, I can give honor to it, even if it no longer my tradition.  I am speaking for myself in this.  I am not saying how anyone else should view these matters, but the differences between these celebrations need not really concern us, I think.

Golden-Christmas-GiftThis is a time of return to Light after a time of Darkness, and is a joyous one!  So, for all of my readers….

Happy Nativity!

Merry Christmas!

Gud Yul!

Happy Solstice!

Happy Midwinter!

Enjoy the season, and rejoice in the return of Light!

See also:

All About Nativity

Cleaning the Closet

It has taken me a few weeks, but I have finally finished the project of cleaning and organizing our closet.  The way the house is set up, we only have one closet, but it is a rather large walk-in closet.  While walk-in closets are wonderful, there is a temptation to start just throwing things in the closet, and a temptation that we have and do succumb to.  When this happens, a walk-in closet can be a frightening place that harbors closet monsters.  Closet monsters hold one’s clothes hostage out of fear of opening the closet door and letting the monster out.  Or if one braves the closet, one must run the risk of injury when walking in as the monster grabs one’s feet and ankles!

Anyways, I finally summoned up the courage to take on the closet monster.  Rather than trying to tackle it all at once, I tried to do a least a little each day, and I did manage to do some on most days.  I am finding this an effective way to manage larger projects.  While I might get overwhelmed when I think of doing the entire closet, I find I can manage to muster the courage for small tasks.  Eventually, the small tasks come together, and one can see the end in sight.  At this point, I find that I start to have renewed energy, and then one day, I decide to just finish the task!

As a part of this project, I had to sort through my clothing.  Over the past couple of years, I have begun the process of changing how I dressed.  I am now to the point where I only wear dresses and skirts, and I no longer wear pants.  It took me a while, because I had to acquire enough dresses and skirts to manage.  We do not have much in the way of money right now, so I had to acquire these things slowly.  Happily, we have a plus size resale/consignment shop near our house, so this has made things a little more affordable.  Actually, aside from the affordability, I am finding it easier to find clothing in the style I am working towards at resale stores than I can at other stores.  The newer clothing often seems rather poorly made, in addition to the styles being rather unpleasant.  Some day, I hope to lose enough weight to fit into clothing at regular resale or antique stores, but for today, this store has been quite a blessing.

While I have been slowly acquiring skirts and dresses, I still had kept my pants.  I wondered if I might want to go back to them, so I did not want to cross the Rubicon just yet.  With the closet project underway, it was now time.  So, I took the plunge, and I removed the clothing I no longer wore from my closet!  In the midst of this, I also went through my dresser drawers and culled them in a similar fashion.  I took several bags to the Salvation Army dropbox, and I took the nicer clothing to the resale/consignment shop I talked about above to sell.  There are a few stray items that need to be ironed before they can go, but that is in process as well.

So, now I have a nice clean and organized closet, which I am rather excited about.  I can now retrieve my clothing without having to risk injury or invasion from the closet monster, and I have a place for my winter boots.

Maybe this will give me the courage for one of my next projects…tackling the much bigger and nastier back porch monster!

Ganbatte Kudasai!

I have been studying Japanese lately, and I am finding Japanese a very interesting language in many ways.  One of the things that is so interesting is that there are words for concepts that are not expressed easily in English.  One of these words is ganbaru, which roughly translates to “doing one’s best” or “hard work.”

One of the things that is quite interesting is that in Japanese the phrase, “Ganbatte kudasai!” is used in a similar context that the phrase “Good luck!” would be used in English, and is said when someone is about to undertake a difficult task or some other endeavor.  The rough translation of “Ganbatte kudasai!” is “Please do your best!”

Akane-chan GanbaruI have to say that I really like this usage.  It says so much that is very important, I think.  It is especially important for the work of reclaiming our Hestia as an important and even sacred space.  I am not sure about anyone else, but I know that I have compared myself to others and felt that I am not good enough or organized enough to undertake such a journey.  I was certainly not able to do much around the house when I had a demanding career outside the home.  I was (and still am) in awe of women that are able to raise children, have a job outside the house, and still maintain a semblance of order in their home.  There is a lot of pressure on women to be able to do it all, and do it all well, in the present day and age.

As you can see from previous articles, even now that I am winding down my previous career and even without children, I am having trouble with juggling my projects and endeavors.  The phrase and the concept behind the phrase, “Ganbatte kudasai,” is really quite helpful.

This concept is important because it helps me remember that the important thing is doing my best.  I am sure that I am not alone in worrying whether my best will be “good enough.”  There are so many expectations placed on us, both by our world and by ourselves.  It is easy to say, “Oh, this is impossible.  I will never be good enough, so why bother.”  The concept of ganbaru is so helpful with this.  The important thing is not the result; the important thing is that I am doing my best!

This may seem quite strange for us, but I am learning that in Japanese culture, ganburu is actually an abstract concept, which is not related to any particular activity.  I think, though, that there was a time when this was understood even in the West.  I remember as a child, we would get separate grades for effort.  I do not know if this is still the case, but I do know that I have heard that scoffed at, with the idea that it is achievement, not effort, that is what is important.

Yet, I think that there really is a value to effort and to doing our best, regardless of result!  I am thinking of my days in school…at every level from elementary to graduate studies.  There was something satisfying about doing my best in a class that was very difficult for me, and that getting a B (or even lower grade) in a difficult class was much more satisfying to me than getting even the top grade in a class that was easy.  Indeed, it sometimes felt embarrassing to get a good grade in a class that I had not worked very hard at.

I have gone on a little bit of a tangent here, but I think that this concept and idea really is important.  The idea of this blog is not to make anyone feel guilty or ashamed or that they are “less than.”  Our society has a funny attitude around the home.  It is considered shameful if our homes are not in order; however, efforts to maintain our homes are not valued.  I wish I had a nickel for every time someone asked me, “So, what are you going to do all day?” when I have talked about closing my business.  Some are satisfied when I talk about starting an astrology practice, but when I say that I am going to be a housewife, the looks are quite dismissive.  It is almost like people think  that houses maintain themselves by magic, or something.  It really is a lot of work!

So, in the face of all of that, I think remembering the concept of ganbaru is so important.  It is not expected that anyone is perfect, just that she is doing her best!

So, to all my readers….”Ganbatte kudasai!”

And for myself, “Ganbarimasu!”  (“I will do my best.”)

 

Developing a Routine

As I am settling into being primarily responsible for taking care of the house, and all of the tasks and chores that go with it, I am finding time management a bit of an issue.  I am also working on developing an astrology practice, continuing my astrological and metaphysical studies, learning Japanese, and blogging. Additionally, I want to be available to visit and spend time with my grandmother, who lives upstairs from me and to maintain social relationships.  There are also several projects I would like to complete, such as cleaning out the closet and the back porch and writing an astrology book.  Oh yes, I am also working on handmade gifts, and I would eventually like to learn how to sew.  Whew!  Strangely enough, I am finding I have less time now that I have closed my previous business, not more!

To Do ListI wrote a previous article about my time management woes, and I think that part of the difficulty is developing a new routine.  Routines are quite helpful, at least for me.  The reason for this is that it cuts down on the amount of decisions one needs to make.  I know that there have been times that I have wandered about the house from room to room just trying to decide what to do next!

When I was working outside the home, I used time management software to keep me on track.  It finally dawned on me that I can use that same time management software with all of my current chores, tasks, projects, and plans.  I have always liked Microsoft Outlook.  I have tried other programs, but that is really the one that works best for me.  One of the reasons I like it is that I can set up the visual interface Outlook Today to only show me the tasks for each day at a time!  I can also set up tasks on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis, and it will pop up on that schedule.  This means that when I open up Outlook each day, my tasklist is all ready for me, without me having to think about it each day.  I also feel a sense of accomplishment every time I check off a task on the list!

I am also learning to feel comfortable with doing a little at a time.  There are some really big tasks like the project of cleaning out the closet and the back porch which seem daunting and overwhelming.  I am trying to work on them a little at a time each day.

I do not know that I am actually accomplishing more, but I may be.  Developing a routine is helping me feel a bit less overwhelmed and minimizing the amount of time I spend wandering through the house trying to figure out what I am doing!

 

Recipe: Sweet and Sour Meatballs

Cure Ocha here with a recipe!

So the wonderful co-op had its one year anniversary party with potluck, and I brought a special recipe: sweet and sour meatballs. This recipe has been in my family for half a century and comes out of a 1950s magazine – I love clever 1950s recipes like this.

Sweet and Sour Meatballs for a Party

The meatballs can be whatever meatball recipe you like best, or even storebought, but this is what I used. They’re a little tender and have to be handled gently when made this way, but pretty much anyone who eats meat can eat them safely.

1 cup dry short or medium grain rice
2 cups water
4 lbs ground beef
Italian seasoning (or thyme, oregano, basil and parsley) to taste
Garlic salt (or garlic and salt) to taste

Preheat the oven to 400F. Cook the rice with the water in your usual way. The reason you don’t want long grain rice is because you want the rice to be sticky so that it will bind your meat together. Cool the rice down (I spread it out on a cookie sheet and fanned it with my bamboo spatula) until it’s only warm, then mix it thoroughly with the ground beef and seasonings. Take a small bit and cook it in a pan in order to taste it and make sure the seasonings are right. When it’s yummy, roll the meat mixture into 1 inch balls and place them touching but not smooshed onto a cookie sheet – you should get a little more than sixty from this amount of meat. Bake them in the oven, checking frequently after the first ten minutes, until one from the middle is cooked through when you break it open.

Now that you have meatballs, it’s time for the sauce. Are you ready? This is absurdly easy.

30 oz of cocktail sauce
30 oz of grape jelly

Mix them in a large pot (or crockpot) over low heat. Add the meatballs and stir to coat. Simmer at least 10 minutes and then keep them warm until it’s time to eat.

These travel well in a crockpot and stay safe during potlucks if you just plug the crockpot in and keep it on warm when you get there. If you have a little more or a little less of the sauce it doesn’t matter…it’s a flexible recipe.

Please enjoy!

I Feel Pretty: Clothing and Manners

I have been rather fascinated by Lolita.  I do not have the money or the figure to buy the wonderful clothing out there.  My figure is not such that I would look good in a Lolita silhouette either.  I guess the style that I have been working towards is as close to otome as I can put together with clothing from the plus size resale store by my house.

Still, I just love to look at pictures of girls dressed in Lolita, and I do dream of someday having the money and figure for such a style.

Anyways, I recently read discussions regarding whether one needed to or even should adopt ladylike manners when dressing in Lolita.  One of the ideas was along the lines of whether it was phony when people acted differently when wearing Lolita.

Of course, I have never been a part of any Lolita community, so I do not really know much.  On the other hand, I am thinking of myself.  One of the things I realized is that I feel differently when I dress nicely.  When I am wearing pretty dresses, I feel pretty.  When I feel pretty, I naturally start behaving in a more ladylike fashion.

Now, I think I have rather good manners to begin with, although, I am far from perfect.  When I dress nicely, with a pretty dress and gloves, I find myself being more polite and gracious than I would ordinarily be.  I do not think it is putting on an act.  I think that the clothing we wear does transform us, if we let it.

I know that it works the other way too.  When I used to dress sloppily on occasion, I would feel rather sloppy, and my manners would often become sloppy to match.  It was not a conscious thing.  It just happened naturally.

I do not know if this happens just with clothing.  Once I had some family and friends over for breakfast.  I did not have a fancy meal, but I put out a pretty tablecloth and served breakfast on nice china.  The strangest thing happened.  Everyone naturally started being on their best behavior, and their manners improved a hundredfold.  Even my cat behaved better.  I have been working with my cat on not begging at the table (with limited success).  Yet, when we were all at the table, she sat nicely and waited for us all to be finished.  Of course, I gave her a nice treat and praised her for that.

Anyways, I do not know that I am saying anything profound or wise, but it was something I thought of that may be of interest.